In couple relationship most often past is effecting
present without consideration of importance of now or
importance of past at the present time.
What happens is past effects the self regulation at
the present time.I am referring to self regulation as
behavioural responses in a relationship between couples.
Although I believe being aware of (here and now) helps
self to understand self regulation yet, sometimes
individual (self) might think and talk about here and now.
On the other hand self might not feel the (now) yet, feels
the place which is (here).
Then I could say in that moment the (now) is not (here).
Razi Ghaemmagham Farahani